Out of the Abyss
“Lunatics are similar to designated hitters. Often an entire family is crazy, but since an entire family can’t go into the hospital, one person is designated as crazy and goes inside. Then, depending on how the rest of the family is feeling that person is kept inside or snatched out, to prove something about the family’s mental health.”― Susanna Kaysen, Girl, Interrupted: Screenplay based on the book
That which was once smashing, ripping
a formidable force not to be restrained,
was buried, forgotten / yet sometimes, still
more quietly though, finds its way, back, into my mind,
out of the abyss.
And I falter in the remnants
of this powerful Leviathan force
which still haunts / in states of disquiet
determined to disrupt the peace of the psyche.
In a lapse of free thinking, of free-will
the compass of the mind
can be insidiously challenged
despite a genuine voice striving diligently to remember itself and be.
Subtle turns of the compass find the right winds
on the ship harboured in mind and soul
a shift in direction following the natural course
hears the wind of the spirit, enriching the soul.
Clear clouds once again reveal the diamonds
calming the inner storm
accepting such is life / a series of awakenings
soothing connections / congruency by adjusting the sails
When a natural, mindful fortitude, is permitted
that flows / when it is let be
it frees the voice permitting self to say, it’s ok, be yourself.
When with intentional effort
being a true guide of doing, of thinking
quality is never an accident.
no psychological battle with the Leviathan
answers the questions of why and how
so I let the Leviathan be,
like I want to be, free to be me
a free flow of positive energies
open to connect with the Leviathan
befriending that monster under my bed.
With a virtue to guide
where nothing owns me and I own nothing.
feel, be, love, share, with a conscious authentic soul-self
by removing the shroud that hides the luster
in my eyes, mind, heart and soul
so I can more clearly perceive the soothing light of the shelter
being true to that courage and goodness that comes from within.
Even whilst moving out of the abyss,
in an accepting the existence of the Leviathan
that force though, which still haunts my thinking
pushing states of disquiet determined to disrupt the equanimity of the psyche.
~ namasté, Leah 🕊
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